Search found 54 matches

just brilliant ! even to a Limey

brilliant !!!!!!!!!!

very good !

there was i thinking it was just the one about nailing the wig on.....................

Very Good !

Like it !!!!!!!!!!!1

brilliant!

An 80 year old woman was arrested for shop lifting.

When she went before the judge in Cincinnati he asked her,

'What did you steal?' She replied, 'A can of peaches.'

The judge then ask ...

A fireman came home from work one day and told his wife, "You know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station:

BELL 1 rings and we all put on our jackets,

BELL 2 rings and we all s ...

Abraham and Esther always wanted to see Australia. For
their 40th anniversary they decided to go.

They were enjoying the flight when the pilot announced:
"I'm afraid I have some bad news, La ...

great that evens up the balance ------or maybe even tips it............

One day, while taking a stroll, a woman came upon a gentleman neighbor
who had the most beautiful garden full of huge red tomatoes.

The woman asked the gentleman, "What do you do to get yo ...

A Texas rancher got in his pickup and drove to a neighboring ranch and knocked at the door. A young boy, about 9, opened the door.

'Is yer Dad home?' the rancher asked.

'No sir, he ain't,' t ...

brilliant ! Very Happy

very good

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural Tennessee. He shot and
dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence.

As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderl ...

Walking through San Francisco's Chinatown, a tourist from the Midwest was enjoying the artistry of all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners when he turned a corner and saw a building with ...

A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this
absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband
a big kiss, says she'll see him later and walks ...

big Texan stopped at a local restaurant following a day roaming
around in Mexico .

While sipping his tequila, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious
looking platter being served at the next table. No ...

I am using a Canon Pixma4000 and the later Pixma 5200. They are superb at CD printing..........they have never had a malfunction when printing CD`s , (sticking trays or misalignment etc......) .

T ...

The Plan

One evening, a young woman came home from a date, rather sad. She told

her mother, "Anthony proposed to me an hour ago." "Then why are you so

sad?" her mother ask ...

lawyer and a blonde woman are sitting next to each other on a long flight. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde is tired and just wants to take a nap, so she politely dec ...

Controlling Your Anger

A husband asks his wife, "When I get mad at you, you never fight back.
How do you control your anger"?

"I clean the toilet bowl."

" ...

Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were
swimming around in the sea - one called Justin & the other called
Christian.
The prawns were constantly being harassed & th ...

North

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket, where she selected:

a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce,
a 2 lb. can of coffee, and ...

A business man got on an elevator.

When he entered, there was a blonde already inside who greeted him with a bright, T.G.I.F

He smiled at her and replied, "S-H-I-T"

She looked puz ...

A large company, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO.This new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers.

On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning on a ...

In Ottawa, a local bar was so sure its bartender was the strongest man around that it offered a standing $1000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand t ...

The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, "You Can Be

THE Man of Your House."

He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, "From now on, you
need ...

Author	Message
Topic: Finally some good southern advice!!!!
headphonesman Replies: 3 Views: 3973	Forum: Humor Us! Posted: Tue Sep 23, 2008 7:30 am Subject: Finally some good southern advice!!!!
headphonesman Replies: 3 Views: 3973	just brilliant ! even to a Limey
Topic: SOUTHERN HOME SECURITY SYSTEM
headphonesman Replies: 4 Views: 4523	Forum: Humor Us! Posted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 12:39 am Subject: SOUTHERN HOME SECURITY SYSTEM
headphonesman Replies: 4 Views: 4523	brilliant !!!!!!!!!!
Topic: Chinese Sick Leave
headphonesman Replies: 7 Views: 6130	Forum: Humor Us! Posted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 12:37 am Subject: Chinese Sick Leave
headphonesman Replies: 7 Views: 6130	very good !
Topic: Bubba The Mortician
headphonesman Replies: 9 Views: 7351	Forum: Humor Us! Posted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 12:35 am Subject: Bubba The Mortician
headphonesman Replies: 9 Views: 7351	there was i thinking it was just the one about nailing the wig on.....................
Topic: UPS Airlines Humor
headphonesman Replies: 7 Views: 5985	Forum: Humor Us! Posted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 12:29 am Subject: UPS Airlines Humor
headphonesman Replies: 7 Views: 5985	Very Good !
Topic: U.S. Marine humor
headphonesman Replies: 6 Views: 5557	Forum: Humor Us! Posted: Wed Apr 30, 2008 12:21 am Subject: U.S. Marine humor
headphonesman Replies: 6 Views: 5557	Like it !!!!!!!!!!!1
Topic: Is this your phone number?
headphonesman Replies: 12 Views: 8788	Forum: Humor Us! Posted: Wed Feb 20, 2008 2:05 am Subject: Is this your phone number?
headphonesman Replies: 12 Views: 8788	brilliant!
Topic: Unhappily married perhaps?
headphonesman Replies: 6 Views: 5166	Forum: Humor Us! Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 2:27 am Subject: Unhappily married perhaps?
headphonesman Replies: 6 Views: 5166	An 80 year old woman was arrested for shop lifting. When she went before the judge in Cincinnati he asked her, 'What did you steal?' She replied, 'A can of peaches.' The judge then ask ...
Topic: Just like being at work ?
headphonesman Replies: 8 Views: 6495	Forum: Humor Us! Posted: Thu Nov 01, 2007 1:44 am Subject: Just like being at work ?
headphonesman Replies: 8 Views: 6495	A fireman came home from work one day and told his wife, "You know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station: BELL 1 rings and we all put on our jackets, BELL 2 rings and we all s ...
Topic: Yep ! - They surely will
headphonesman Replies: 4 Views: 4431	Forum: Humor Us! Posted: Wed Oct 17, 2007 3:16 pm Subject: Yep ! - They surely will
headphonesman Replies: 4 Views: 4431	Abraham and Esther always wanted to see Australia. For their 40th anniversary they decided to go. They were enjoying the flight when the pilot announced: "I'm afraid I have some bad news, La ...
Topic: LUCKY BLONDE
headphonesman Replies: 9 Views: 6591	Forum: Humor Us! Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2007 7:16 am Subject: LUCKY BLONDE
headphonesman Replies: 9 Views: 6591	great that evens up the balance ------or maybe even tips it............
Topic: Vegetable Gardening Techniques -
headphonesman Replies: 4 Views: 4135	Forum: Humor Us! Posted: Wed Oct 10, 2007 12:36 pm Subject: Vegetable Gardening Techniques -
headphonesman Replies: 4 Views: 4135	One day, while taking a stroll, a woman came upon a gentleman neighbor who had the most beautiful garden full of huge red tomatoes. The woman asked the gentleman, "What do you do to get yo ...
Topic: Everything has a price - don`t it ?
headphonesman Replies: 3 Views: 3710	Forum: Humor Us! Posted: Wed Oct 10, 2007 12:17 pm Subject: Everything has a price - don`t it ?
headphonesman Replies: 3 Views: 3710	A Texas rancher got in his pickup and drove to a neighboring ranch and knocked at the door. A young boy, about 9, opened the door. 'Is yer Dad home?' the rancher asked. 'No sir, he ain't,' t ...
Topic: HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU'RE OLD
headphonesman Replies: 11 Views: 8604	Forum: Humor Us! Posted: Thu Sep 06, 2007 12:05 pm Subject: HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU'RE OLD
headphonesman Replies: 11 Views: 8604	brilliant !
Topic: RESTROOM SIGNS
headphonesman Replies: 7 Views: 6218	Forum: Humor Us! Posted: Thu Sep 06, 2007 12:03 pm Subject: RESTROOM SIGNS
headphonesman Replies: 7 Views: 6218	very good
Topic: The Three Kick Rule - (Blond Farmer perhaps?)
headphonesman Replies: 5 Views: 4954	Forum: Humor Us! Posted: Fri Aug 31, 2007 11:02 am Subject: The Three Kick Rule - (Blond Farmer perhaps?)
headphonesman Replies: 5 Views: 4954	A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural Tennessee. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderl ...
Topic: That Chinese Accent Again
headphonesman Replies: 8 Views: 6845	Forum: Humor Us! Posted: Fri Aug 31, 2007 1:03 am Subject: That Chinese Accent Again
headphonesman Replies: 8 Views: 6845	Walking through San Francisco's Chinatown, a tourist from the Midwest was enjoying the artistry of all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners when he turned a corner and saw a building with ...
Topic: Mistress Appreciation
headphonesman Replies: 5 Views: 5185	Forum: Humor Us! Posted: Fri Aug 31, 2007 1:00 am Subject: Mistress Appreciation
headphonesman Replies: 5 Views: 5185	A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, says she'll see him later and walks ...
Topic: No Bull ?
headphonesman Replies: 12 Views: 8747	Forum: Humor Us! Posted: Thu Jul 19, 2007 2:19 am Subject: No Bull ?
headphonesman Replies: 12 Views: 8747	big Texan stopped at a local restaurant following a day roaming around in Mexico . While sipping his tequila, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. No ...
Topic: canon ip5300/4300
headphonesman Replies: 1 Views: 5372	Forum: General Talk Posted: Wed Jul 11, 2007 3:45 am Subject: canon ip5300/4300
headphonesman Replies: 1 Views: 5372	I am using a Canon Pixma4000 and the later Pixma 5200. They are superb at CD printing..........they have never had a malfunction when printing CD`s , (sticking trays or misalignment etc......) . T ...
Topic: Mother Knows best......
headphonesman Replies: 6 Views: 5231	Forum: Humor Us! Posted: Wed Jul 11, 2007 3:19 am Subject: Mother Knows best......
headphonesman Replies: 6 Views: 5231	The Plan One evening, a young woman came home from a date, rather sad. She told her mother, "Anthony proposed to me an hour ago." "Then why are you so sad?" her mother ask ...
Topic: the blonde wins............
headphonesman Replies: 10 Views: 8508	Forum: Humor Us! Posted: Sun Jul 01, 2007 8:18 am Subject: the blonde wins............
headphonesman Replies: 10 Views: 8508	lawyer and a blonde woman are sitting next to each other on a long flight. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde is tired and just wants to take a nap, so she politely dec ...
Topic: Controlling your anger.....
headphonesman Replies: 6 Views: 5428	Forum: Humor Us! Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2007 6:38 am Subject: Controlling your anger.....
headphonesman Replies: 6 Views: 5428	Controlling Your Anger A husband asks his wife, "When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger"? "I clean the toilet bowl." " ...
Topic: Praying for sea food?............. (apologies)
headphonesman Replies: 0 Views: 2799	Forum: Humor Us! Posted: Wed Jun 06, 2007 12:38 pm Subject: Praying for sea food?............. (apologies)
headphonesman Replies: 0 Views: 2799	Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming around in the sea - one called Justin & the other called Christian. The prawns were constantly being harassed & th ...
Topic: First Thing That Pops-up Game
headphonesman Replies: 815 Views: 3869776	Forum: Humor Us! Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2007 11:02 am Subject: First Thing That Pops-up Game
headphonesman Replies: 815 Views: 3869776	North
Topic: Its never that complicated
headphonesman Replies: 5 Views: 4651	Forum: Humor Us! Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2007 1:06 am Subject: Its never that complicated
headphonesman Replies: 5 Views: 4651	A woman was shopping at her local supermarket, where she selected: a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee, and ...
Topic: Its That Blonde again
headphonesman Replies: 4 Views: 4183	Forum: Humor Us! Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2007 1:02 am Subject: Its That Blonde again
headphonesman Replies: 4 Views: 4183	A business man got on an elevator. When he entered, there was a blonde already inside who greeted him with a bright, T.G.I.F He smiled at her and replied, "S-H-I-T" She looked puz ...
Topic: Get Rid of the Slackers
headphonesman Replies: 2 Views: 3431	Forum: Humor Us! Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2007 12:58 am Subject: Get Rid of the Slackers
headphonesman Replies: 2 Views: 3431	A large company, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO.This new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning on a ...
Topic: Change location as appropriate - it`s still valid.
headphonesman Replies: 5 Views: 5170	Forum: Humor Us! Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2007 9:56 am Subject: Change location as appropriate - it`s still valid.
headphonesman Replies: 5 Views: 5170	In Ottawa, a local bar was so sure its bartender was the strongest man around that it offered a standing $1000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand t ...
Topic: better to maintain the status quo......
headphonesman Replies: 8 Views: 6791	Forum: Humor Us! Posted: Wed Mar 21, 2007 9:05 am Subject: better to maintain the status quo......
headphonesman Replies: 8 Views: 6791	The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, "You Can Be THE Man of Your House." He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, "From now on, you need ...