Church Bulletins

[fatheralice]

They're Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for church ladies with typewriters.
These sentences ( with all the BLOOPERS ) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:


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The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

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The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."

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Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

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Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.

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Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

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Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

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For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

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A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practise.

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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

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Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be
recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased
person you want remembered.

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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment
and gracious hostility.

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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.

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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They
may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in t he park
across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM . All
ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S.
is done.

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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would
lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM . Please
use the back door.

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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the
Church basement Friday at 7 PM . The congregation is invited to
attend this tragedy.

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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.
Please use large double door at the side entrance.

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The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last
Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."

[SG1_Fan]

these are great thanks

[sawtooth]

ROFLMAO.

[drastija]

LOL
_________________
"Once you have flown, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward,
for there you have been, there you long to return."
Leonardo da Vinci

[Anonymous]

very nice